Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
