I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you would pick up someone in the library
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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