it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
how drunk are you?
Several
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
