I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
