we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
