I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
