I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
