1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize