That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
