Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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