Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
