How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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