your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
