But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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