Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
