Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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