Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
