In America we eat man semen.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
