At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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