Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
