He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
