I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it hurts more in the daytime
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
