I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
