What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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