Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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