You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize