My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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