He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
