You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
