he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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