we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
