Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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