definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
