college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
