I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We have started to decorate penises.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
