I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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