hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize