Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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