I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
