So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
