She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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