We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize