We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
