at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize