See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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