At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
