I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think people are normalizing furries
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
