Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
