gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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