Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
