It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize