All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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