I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
