Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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