My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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