Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize