she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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