Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
