Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I will pee on everything he values.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
