Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
